Sunday, December 08, 2013

5 Winning Habits We Could Learn From The Undead

Zombies - filthy, shambling, brain dead, gore-spattered creatures with b.o., halitosis and terrible posture, not to mention dreadful eating habits (all meat, no greens).

Or are they? It occurs to me that there are a few things that we could learn from watching zombies, things you'd pay thousands of dollars to hear from some superstar speaker at an overpriced self-improvement seminar.

How about these for starters;    

Focus


Zombies are extremely focused creatures. Once they set their minds (minds???) on a task, they won't quit until they've achieved their objective (which usually involves tearing you limb from limb and bolting down your ripped flesh in bloody chunks).

Perseverance


Very little will stop a Z from achieving his objective, not the weather, the time of day, nor any physical barrier. A gunshot to the chest won't do it, nor will the loss of a limb. In fact, the only things that will stop a Z from eating you alive, are a bullet to the brain, or outright decapitation. Now that's perseverance.

Self-Acceptance  


Zombies are pretty cool with who they are. They're not too fussed about wearing the latest fashions or getting their hair done. Manicures, pedicures, facials? Feggedaboutit! A zombie is pretty happy in his own rotting skin, as long as he's snacking on yours.

Co-operation


You'll seldom see a Z walking alone. They have a great sense of community and know that by working together everyone wins (and eats). This is, in fact, a key factor to their success. Let's face it, you'd have to be seriously out of shape to be run down by a Z. But a hundred of them? A thousand? They'll surround you, pull you into a melee. You'll be shish kebab before you can say, "Aarrrrgggghhh!"   


Inclusion


The living dead are a welcoming bunch. As long as you're dead, you're alright by them. You won't hear one Z calling another a "gimp" or a retard. They're pretty cool about your missing limbs, alligator-like dentures and dragging entrails. They won't give you a hard time about your clumpy shoes or a run in your stockings. They're good that way, zombies.

So there you have it, five wining zombie traits that will make us all better people. Thanks Zs.     

1 comment:

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