Or are they? It occurs to me that there are a few things that we could learn from watching zombies, things you'd pay thousands of dollars to hear from some superstar speaker at an overpriced self-improvement seminar.
How about these for starters;
Zombies are extremely focused creatures. Once they set their minds (minds???) on a task, they won't quit until they've achieved their objective (which usually involves tearing you limb from limb and bolting down your ripped flesh in bloody chunks).
Very little will stop a Z from achieving his objective, not the weather, the time of day, nor any physical barrier. A gunshot to the chest won't do it, nor will the loss of a limb. In fact, the only things that will stop a Z from eating you alive, are a bullet to the brain, or outright decapitation. Now that's perseverance.
Zombies are pretty cool with who they are. They're not too fussed about wearing the latest fashions or getting their hair done. Manicures, pedicures, facials? Feggedaboutit! A zombie is pretty happy in his own rotting skin, as long as he's snacking on yours.
You'll seldom see a Z walking alone. They have a great sense of community and know that by working together everyone wins (and eats). This is, in fact, a key factor to their success. Let's face it, you'd have to be seriously out of shape to be run down by a Z. But a hundred of them? A thousand? They'll surround you, pull you into a melee. You'll be shish kebab before you can say, "Aarrrrgggghhh!"
The living dead are a welcoming bunch. As long as you're dead, you're alright by them. You won't hear one Z calling another a "gimp" or a retard. They're pretty cool about your missing limbs, alligator-like dentures and dragging entrails. They won't give you a hard time about your clumpy shoes or a run in your stockings. They're good that way, zombies.
So there you have it, five wining zombie traits that will make us all better people. Thanks Zs.